Thursday, 1 March 2012

Reality check...

I've had a few indulgent days. A few days where I let myself believe maybe things could be different. That maybe I had made a mistake and I could go back. And I still wish with every part of me that I could. But I have to face the facts. Remind myself all over again of the reality of what happened. Of what he did. And talking about it from a million different views and agonising over how we wish it was different isn't gonna make it so. Like I said a few posts ago, I have to remind myself that I can't accept the kind of hurt that he caused me. I have to remind myself that anyone who can knowingly betray me for so long and then when caught out can not even admit he'd done anything wrong or care that he'd hurt me so frikken much, is not someone I can be with. And as much as it hurts and as much as I wish we could just rewind back to before all this came out and just be happy again - that is never going to happen. that is never going to happen. I have to stop wanting it to. I just don't know how.

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