So in true Rhodent style an innocent little Thursday night going to watch a bunch of awesome students doing some awesome improv comedy turned into a very sneaky mare (due to the amazing drink specials at the bar) and needless to say my reaction to the intoxication was rather telling. I guess its the choices that you make when you are at your most vulnerable that reveal the most about what you are feeling deep down inside. I realised a little while ago that the reason I have in fact been coping with this break up as well as I have is because I been making sure that I distract myself as much as I possibly could - I have hardly spent any time alone (comparative to normal people) ever since the break up happened like 2 months ago, not that I could help it anyway. And as much as I love my friends for being so amazingly supportive I had to come to the realisation that there's only so long I can use them as a crutch. I need to start learning to be ok by myself. For the obvious reasons of course. But also because I don't want my needs to ending hurting the people in my life in the process. I never want to be that person and I feel like I am venturing incredibly close to it.
So making tough decisions are necessary - but I know that what's most important is that in every decision I make I try and stay true to myself. The person I know and am and the person I've always trued to be. That person isn't dependent (however much I love company) and that person avoids hurting others at all costs.
I guess I shouldn't have been fooled into thinking things would sort themselves out if I avoided thinking about them long enough. That was awfully silly of me. But at the same time I am proud of how truly well I am doing. I probably shouldn't be as hard on myself as I have been. I just need to keep on truckin' :P Bumps, bruises, and all...
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