Friday, 20 July 2012

New beginnings... all over again XP

So here I am again, for the millionth time talking about making a fresh start, recommitting to my goals and trying to focus on the ways in which I want to improve myself after another rough break up. So I apologise to anyone actually reading this if it feels like deja vu and is a bore :P

The last few weeks have involved a lot very very critical thinking around my politics honours module Ubuntu because we had the Thinking Africa colloquium and honours winter school around the topic. I have had the immense honour of listening to, interacting with and having in depth conversations with absolutely amazing academics from all over the continent and from overseas and I could not help but relate so much of it back to myself - the way in which I live my life, conduct myself, think about myself, relate to others... A lot of soul searching has been done and a lot of it I am really not happy about. I have come to a lot of hard realisations about myself - and not the defeatist, insecure little self doubts that have always been there, but some real revelations about my underlying faults which are truly inhibiting me.

For now, I am sitting alone in my room, feeling back in the exact same spot a always do - with a million things to do, a million plans and lists to get them done, and yet still feeling paralysed to get started on any of it because - well I don't really know. All I can manage is this defense mechanism of closing my brain off by putting on episode after episode of trivial tv series so that I don't have to think. But I cannot revert back into this. It wastes too much time and these are my last 6 months here at Rhodes - and possibly of university forever - and I cannot possibly let this time slip by without making the most of it and looking back after the fact and having regrets.

So I start with what I always do - lists. Lists, after list, after list. (There is something incredibly comforting about an extremely comprehensive list - especially the ticking things off part. :P)

One of the things on one of my multiple lists is to get back into blogging regularly again so this was me getting onto that. :P

On a much more light hearted note (because as I said to someone the other day, I think that frivolity is an extremely important part of life! :P) here is a hilarious set of youtube videos I found today (courtesy of another youtube star I am a huge fan of Jenna Marbles)... This is the first episode of many filled with a lot of drinking, a lot of ridiculously bad (which in our books means good) word play, and not very much successful cooking. . . Hannah you are amazing!! ^_^

My Drunk Kitchen

(I especially love how in her drunkeness her rants about food often become profound metaphoric musings on her life experiences - which make me love her even more!!)

I'm out for now... I will hopefully stick to this (and my many other) newly-single-resolutions :P

Love and peace to all out there <3

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