Super major awesomeness ^_^

Just wanted to dedicate a post to these beautiful sisters and best friends, Lennon and Maisy Stella, who made this stunning video which lifts my heart every time I watch it.

Read more about them on HelloGiggles (one of my favouritest blogs!) http://hellogiggles.com/sister-act-a-chat-with-web-celebs-lennon-and-maisy-stella

And here some more of their videos - can't believe the voices on these two and the soulfullness in their delivery. Just love it!

Peace and love to you beautiful and talented girls!! <3

Feeling a little low...

So not really sure what I am even writing about today. So you have been warned that this is not going to be a very worthwhile, eloquent or even coherent post. Just felt like reflecting on the state I'm in I guess. I have been feeling lonely, and don't get me wrong - I have many amazing friends around me all the time. But I've been feeling the kind of lonely that kicks in late at night when all you wish for is that person to cuddle up next to, when you're watching a series you used to watch together and all you want to do is discuss each character or contestant like you used to, when you see a couple holding hands and your chest wells up with just how empty your hand feels in that moment. I am a very physical person and I experience like actual physical aches just longing for someone to hold me, someone to cuddle, someone to feel connected to.

This is part of my journey. I know. I need to feel this way. I need to learn how to not feel this way as much. I need to get to a place where being alone isn't painful anymore. I'm not exactly sure how long that's going to take. But I am trying my hardest to make good choices about how to deal with it. It can be overwhelming and cause me to have moments of weakness. But I am pushing through. And hopefully it will be better eventually.

I have never been the kind of person who likes being by themselves. Ja sure, I can enjoy a lazy Sunday morning spent in my pj's looking gross and doing nothing but watching tv, or a nice long bubble bath. But by no means do I enjoy extended periods of alone time. If I could be around people all the time I would. And it makes it so much harder when you go from being in a relationship when you have the person you love around almost all the time, to being single and having to readjust to life on your own. Its not that I'm dependent. Its just that I like the comfort, the presence, the distraction...

Night time is the worst, falling asleep on my own is STILL hard, even though its been such a long time. My sleeping patterns have been insanely bad. When I am in my friend Julian's room I can fall asleep on his bed no problem, even with a room full of people. But then as soon as I'm back in my room and by myself again, bam, wide awake... And then I'll stay up all night and be so tired that I'll sleep all day :/

But enough moaning. This is just yet another phase I have to go through to get onto the other side of this whole business. And slowly the pieces will start to come back together. Broken hearts take time to heal. (good god that sounded cliched!) Sigh... I suppose all I can do is try and focus on all the things going on in my life, focus on my wonderful friends, my mountains of work, the very many parties this term - and try and power through the moments when I feel like this, when I feel weak, and broken, and alone.

Peace and love and posi vibes to all <3

Trends I love (and mostly couldn't pull off :P)

The definition of what is sexy changes as time does and so does the way in which we show it off... The obvious ways which have existed over time, low cut tops showing cleavage, short tight skirts revealing as much thigh as possible (neither of which I've ever been able to or wanted to don), have been swapped out today for more subtle and in my opinion way more alluring trends. These are more feminine and classy ways of accentuating the female form and I absolutely love them! These are my three favourites - intricate open backs, see-through tops and bare midriffs...

 I think that open back are one of the sexiest things ever!! I have one or two dresses with cut outs in the back and I have to say that they make me feel great when I wear them. Most of the above are for those lucky enough to be able to not wear a bra - for not all of us fit into that category. But you can find ones which are smart and have a strategically placed band or tie into a bow right over the bra strap so its hidden and you still get to show off a little skin :)

Big no-no's with this look: Exposed bras and bra straps - looks really tacky and completely defeats the point, ladies! Don't do it!! Also, a lot of us can end up exposing some dreaded 'back fat' (sorry, I couldn't think of a more delicate term for it :P) which is not the greatest - try and avoid dresses or tops which possibly cut across your back in tight or unflattering ways. Its all about making the look work for you ^_^

I recently ventured out of my comfort zone and bought myself one of these sheer tops - very much like the second one pictured above - and although I am yet to wear it I am super excited to do so. There is something that feels very daring about revealing my belly button in public going out at night - while being completely covered at the same time ;P I love the juxtaposition between either the classy-ness of a long-sleeve collared shirt that's just see-through enough to reveal a sexy bra or the super girly-ness of a vintage-y, lace top which has just the right amount of peek-a-boo. 

Big no-no's with this look: Be careful with the way in which you match up the bra and top, you don't want to end up looking tacky or slutty, its all about revealing just enough but not too much. 

This look is my MOST favourite of the season!!! And it is one which I would not dare to actually try - much to out there for me. But when it is done right (like above) I really think it is truly stunning. I have seen a lot of celebs like Jessie J, Katy Perry and Jennifer Lopez pulling it off amazingly and of that I am super jealous. I think this look is most stunning when paired with a high-waisted, long, flowy skirt. 

Big no-no's with this look: Once again, its all about moderation and balance - don't show TOO much skin. Its all about accentuating that gorgeous, most thin part of your body, your waist (or just above it). 

Of course these are all summer looks so most of them are out of the question right now for those of us living in the parts of South Africa which actually experience winter (and g-town is most certainly one of those, although my hometown, Durban, generally isn't) - but when the weather obliges these are the trends I'm most excited to see play themselves out and that I'm most excited to try in some everyday-gal friendly forms :P 

Peace and love and lace and bows <3 I'm out :)

Seeing light through the bad life choices...

So in true Rhodent style an innocent little Thursday night going to watch a bunch of awesome students doing some awesome improv comedy turned into a very sneaky mare (due to the amazing drink specials at the bar) and needless to say my reaction to the intoxication was rather telling. I guess its the choices that you make when you are at your most vulnerable that reveal the most about what you are feeling deep down inside. I realised a little while ago that the reason I have in fact been coping with this break up as well as I have is because I been making sure that I distract myself as much as I possibly could - I have hardly spent any time alone (comparative to normal people) ever since the break up happened like 2 months ago, not that I could help it anyway. And as much as I love my friends for being so amazingly supportive I had to come to the realisation that there's only so long I can use them as a crutch. I need to start learning to be ok by myself. For the obvious reasons of course. But also because I don't want my needs to ending hurting the people in my life in the process. I never want to be that person and I feel like I am venturing incredibly close to it.

So making tough decisions are necessary - but I know that what's most important is that in every decision I make I try and stay true to myself. The person I know and am and the person I've always trued to be. That person isn't dependent (however much I love company) and that person avoids hurting others at all costs.

I guess I shouldn't have been fooled into thinking things would sort themselves out if I avoided thinking about them long enough. That was awfully silly of me. But at the same time I am proud of how truly well I am doing. I probably shouldn't be as hard on myself as I have been. I just need to keep on truckin' :P Bumps, bruises, and all...