Monday, 18 April 2011

"Like the most adorable little fluffy puppy, licking your nose uncontrollably..."

So near the end of last year I came out of a long relationship in a really hectic breakup and its been a very difficult road moving forward from it for me, especially accepting the pain and betrayal I felt at the way in which I was treated following it. Despite the break up having been over 6 months ago, things have been hitting me really hard over the last few days for some reason, as if it sorta just happened yesterday. I haven't been able to push away those the thoughts that keep trying like crazing to creep back into my head. And there have just been one too many reminders of him surrounding me. But something came over me tonight which has surprised me (in the best of ways). It's the feeling that I absolutely cannot WAIT to be in love again. . . 
So much pain and anger and resentment has been surrounding me over the last few months with regards to this relationship, which was my first (a lot of firsts for me in fact). But I had this sudden wave of emotion in remembering that feeling of being in love all over again. When I was sorting through some old photo’s the other day I came across a random photo of the two of us together. My one arm is wrapped around his neck from the back and his one hand is reaching up to touch mine. I could instantly feel all the love we used to have, I could see it all in that one touch of our fingertips. But that has been so intrinsically tied to the pain that followed it… Tonight I have just been thinking about how amazing it is going to be the next time I fall in love and how much I can’t wait for that. There is nothing like that feeling, nothing in the whole world. The closest thing I can think of is the most adorable little fluffy puppy, licking your nose uncontrollably. It’s that feeling of being filled with nothing but so much pure bliss and sunshine that it feels like its going to bubble up right out of you.
So many people say that love doesn’t exist, that it is a fairy tale. I know for sure that that isn’t true. Happy endings – those may only exist in fairy tales, I'll be the first to admit that, but love is undeniably 100% real. If you are yet to experience the real thing, just wait – you will be blown away. It is honestly emotion that is almost inconceivable. Even when you’re feeling it, you can’t believe you actually are. Its sorta crazy.

So despite the fact that I know I don’t need another relationship anytime soon, and although I know it’s gonna be a really long time till it comes around (‘cause no matter how real I believe love is, I still believe true love is rare)  I cannot wait for that little puppy to come along again. ;P

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