The end of times - Rhodes times, that is...

So it is all coming to an end. In exactly a month and two days I will be leaving Grahamstown for good, only to return for a weekend when I graduate next year and then possibly never again. These last two essays I write, and this final exam, may be the last pieces of work I ever do for a degree. My university career is almost officially over. Needless to say, this is an exceedingly scary prospect. This place is all I have known for the last four years. And now once again I need to bid adieu to an entire phase of life, and boldly charge (more like awkwardly stumble) into the next one. 

Obviously this time period becomes riddled with nostalgia - lots of reminiscing, looking back, 'talking fondly of the good old days' as if we're a bunch of geezers who've lived through an age. But we have certainly come far from the over-excitable bunch of first years who first entered this debaucherous little town. So pouring over four years worth of photos (and anyone who knows me, knows that equals a flip load, me being a complete photo whore and all :P), I went about the very difficult task of picking a few out to have a little look back over the time... 

1st year - 2009
City Bowl gig in pjs
First night out in g-town with the res girls in o-week
Rat jam with my instant soul mate, Sharlz
Playing dress up in my res room

2nd year - 2010
Lumo vibes with my bestie!
Lady Gaga themed corridor party in res
Leavers dinner
The first boyf, B-rad 

3rd year - 2011
Boat Races, baby!
House sitting with The-O & Miss Es
One of many pre-drinks
My T-themed g-town edition of my 21st

4th year - 2012
Graduation!!!
Ree's 21st with Gabz & Claire (a.k.a the night of the deadly punch)
Body piles at FUSH
Leavers dinner with my Slovo boys

Looking back is completely surreal. So much has happened, so much has changed, I honestly can't believe how fast time has gone or how much has gone time during it. What is for sure is that the wonderful memories certainly outweigh the sucky ones, and I will cherish the time I have had here and the people I have known forever. I feel incredibly lucky to have ended up in this place.

Now it is time for new and unknown adventures. Going to truly be at the hands of what is the harsh and incredibly uncertain real world. I know that I am ready to leave this place, to move on, to grow more and see more and start really living. But that certainly doesn't make leaving all this wonderfulness any easier. 

Here's to awesome pasts and exciting futures!!

Peace and love and rainbows to all ^_^

Down but not quite out...

So haven't been doing too great lately, and it pains me to make my first official non-happy post on this blog but I guess it had to happen sometime...

So why life is pretty sucky at the moment... Firstly its exams and as if I didn't hate exams enough already, I have been allocated THE worst timetable EVER. I have written 2 in the last 2 days and write on Thursday and Friday. Yes, that means FOUR 3rd year papers, i.e. the majors in the final and hardest year of my degree, in the space of 5 days. Last night my efforts to have another nearly sleepless night studying back fired and I fell asleep and lost around 5 hours of vital study time. It might not seem like a lot, but when I literally had just 12 hours between my first paper and the next, it really is. Basically had a mini-meltdown this morning because I honestly did not feel like I could get the minimum I needed to for this paper. You know its bad when you have to make sure you've wiped off all the of the mascara-laden tear stains down your face before you leave to go write your exam. Now that it is over, I'm still not sure but there's not much I can do about that now. And I basically have absolutely everything riding on this year. But enough about that - I have shed enough tears and wailed at enough of my friends for one day :P (Shout out to Jamie John Bezuidenhout for being the awesome guy he is ;P)

Secondly, and something which puts my exam stress completely in perspective, there was an awful car accident in which two people were killed just outside Grahamstown, a girl who lives in the res just near mine, and I guy who I've seen around g-town a thousand times... Both were good friends with many people I know. Even though I didn't know either of them personally, it is absolutely awful and it has been yet another source of tears over the last 2 days reading the statuses and posts from their friends. I can't help but imagine the unbelievable pain they must be in, not to mention their families! Its just so inconceivable that 2 young, vibrant people with their entire lives ahead of them should be taken from this world. I am sending as much love as I can to all that knew them. :'(

Yet another addition to my current state of emotional turmoil was a message received from my ex-boyfriend a few days ago. Now I know that months down the line, something as insignificant as an sms should not affect me like this but it just has sort of brought up all of the dregs of emotion still dwelling inside of me - and at THE most inconvenient time at that. As much as I have not lost my belief in love, it is times like these that make me think that life would have been a lot simpler if I hadn't found out what it really meant. Because once you've had it and then you lose it, a part of you gets lost with it. And I'm trying to decide which is worse - the time when you're still in love but you know its over for good, or the time when you're not in love anymore and all you have left (amongst the hurt and the resentment) is the memory of what it used to feel like. 

This is by far the my deepest and most revealing post yet. And I do feel a little vulnerable sending such personal musings out into the big wide world. But his is one of the reasons I wanted to do this whole blog thing. To share and express. And not just the good but the bad too. 

On a more positive note, I do have A LOT to look forward to once these exams are over. More deets to follow - but let me just say for now that MAJOR ish is going to be going down. . .

For now I'm signing out to return to my studies. Currently engrossed in the Law of Persons (at least much more interesting than the content of the paper I wrote today even if there is in fact even more to actually learn). Here's to the nasciturus fiction, domicile, prodigals, curators, lots of latin terminology and cases involving people with some of the weirdest names I have ever heard - case in point with Mr. Beaglehole (I mean, really?). 

Signed: Down but not quite out. . .

--> Essay writing at 1am <--

So as the above suggests it is 1 in the morning (1:12 to be exact :P) and I am working on a politics essay on migration in southern Africa (so fun! . . . not :/). Anyway, I just felt like mentioning that I am pretty darn chuffed with my internet growth for the day ^_^ (Jeans & Sharlz will understand :P hehe)

That is all for now. I will not be sleeping tonight. Wish me luck, oh cosmic forces out there!

Bisous! xx